Better Day

This whole journey has been full of so many ups and downs. Yesterday was hard. We were very hopeful that he would be extubated, and that did not happen. He looked so miserable and chewed the tube in his mouth until he bled. He seemed to understand a bit more of what was happening to him and kept looking at me like he wanted an explanation, but we were not ready to tell him everything until he could ask his own questions. Anyway, it essentially has taken him forever to come out of the sedation and the waiting has been hard. I left the hospital yesterday discouraged, tired, and sad.

Then I had to go back to work today, and while I know that work can wait, I hated to miss the first day back. I am so blessed to work for and with good people who will support me and work with me during this time. I have felt very torn between being a daughter, mother, wife, and now counselor. I don't want to let anyone down.

Today has been a better day. He was extubated this morning. His throat sounds terrible- like he swallowed a bucket of gravel. He is not able to swallow yet, so he cannot even have ice chips, and I know that he is terribly thirsty. They think that he might have some infection in his throat. They also did another CT scan of his head today to rule out neurological damage. There was some concern because he was still so groggy and disoriented today. However, as soon as he came back from the scan, he was much more responsive. He could identify both my mom and I by name. He called me "bug bug" (his nickname for me), asked my mom for a kiss, and was able to raise his arms, wiggle his toes, etc. This was huge progress. We went back up this evening, and he was much more verbal and able to express complete thoughts. He wants a chocolate milkshake and assured us that he has not forgotten about the family trip to Disneyland that he promised us! I think that is a good sign.

We are hopeful that he will be able to get out of bed tomorrow. He has a bad rash down his back- not sure if it is a reaction to medication or what. I think that being able to even sit in a chair would be great progress. So, keep on praying. We are certainly not out of the woods yet, but he is alive and making progress, and for that I am so very thankful.