My dermatological adventure.

Today was the big day. I am now mole and skin tag free! Whoohoo!

My precious mom came with me to help with the baby while I lost every shred of pride that I ever had. The adventure started with a hungry baby in the waiting room. I looked around at the 20 people waiting and decided that the doctors were in no hurry, so I busted out my nursing cover and started feeding Evyn. I kid you not- as soon as she latched on they called my name. I have decided that the key to shortening your time in the waiting room is to breastfeed. You should try it.

By the time I made it back to the exam room, Evyn was ready to eat. I had to ask the fabulously attractive nurse if it was OK if I fed her while I described the horrors that she was about to see. Then she asked me why I was there. I wanted to tell her that I had already given the specifics to the lady on the phone, but instead I started down the list of abnormalities that she was about to encounter. She literally had to ask me to slow down.

She leaves. I take my pants off and finish feeding the baby. The doctor comes in. He goes after the skin tag on my neck like it is nothing. So far so good. Not too much pain- I am only a little grossed out by hearing the snip of the scissors on my flesh. He puts a needle in the skin right under my eye. This was unpleasant. The pretty nurse is holding my hands. Then I hear his scissors cut the flap of skin off my eye. I want to cry and vomit simultaneously. It gets worse. The needle goes into the side of my nose. Several times. It felt like I was getting my nose pierced slowly with a sewing needle. Another snip and some disgusting sounding scraping. At this point I am oozing blood from my eye and am sweating. It gets worse. I then have to stand up in my granny panties and expose the skin tag on my butt. I am wishing that I had worn cuter panties. I am wishing that I was not sweating. I had to ask the doctor if he would like me to bend over. The answer was yes. I was afraid of that. This time I was sprayed with a deadening spray. Then there was the snip. The spray did not work- it really hurt. I warned the doctor that this skin tag probably had its own blood supply. I was right. The pretty nurse held gauze on my bottom for an uncomfortably long time before she asked if I would hold it myself assuring me that this was every bit as embarassing for her as it was for me. Really? I doubt that very much. I am still sweating. The doctor scopes out my potential wart on my arm and tells me that it is nothing to worry about and then looks at the scar on my back and gives me the all clear. I can't decide if it is really OK or if he is just tired of me exposing new parts of my body to him. The pretty nurse washes my leg because I bled everywhere and put the biggest bandaid on the planet on me. She finally leaves and I get to put my pants on. I am completely humiliated but my mom assures me that I was very brave.

I look a little rough. I have scabs on my eye and nose. But I have to say that I am super proud of myself for being proactive about my health. And I had already met my deductible, so I got to have all of that fun for a bargain price of $40. I will not be posting pictures. You can thank me later.